shartoll-light.regular (18)
.
‘Twas Christmas Eve and three men died,
and climbed the stairs to heaven.
But when they knocked on Peter’s gate
He said they’d have to sit and wait.‘
.
It’s Christmas Eve, I need my rest
My annual holiday’,
They pleaded, begged down on their knees’‘
tis Christmas help us please..’
.
‘OK’ said Peter, ‘here’s what I’ll do
I’ll set a test for all of you.
If you can give me festive cheer
Then there’s a place for you in here’
.
The first man thought and suddenly
His cell phone rang and rang.
St Peter said ‘that sound will do
I’m going to let you walk on through’
.
‘You see’ he said,’ it sounds like bells,
bells on Christmas day
Come on in, sit right down
You can wear my pearly crown’.
.
The second man lit up a fag
He lit it with a match
‘That’s great’ said Peter,’ that will do,
You can come on in here too!’
.
You see he said, that’s just like lights
Lights I had at home.
Like Christmas candles on my shelf
You’ve taken me outside myself.
.
The third man wondered what to do
His mind was just a blank.
Then he remembered what he did
That caused his heart to shoot it’s lid.
.
He plunged his arm into his bag
And rummaged through his bits.
Then held his hand up really high
and waved a thong up in the sky!
.
‘That’s not festive’ Peter said
‘It’s intimate apparel’
‘It’s Christmassy’ the dead man said’
‘Because this thong is Carols!’
.
download
Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s